Book Summary: How To Work With Just About Anyone
"I just can't seem to get along with this person!"
Every office has that one difficult person to work with, who
affects productivity due to a terrible attitude, chronic
tardiness, or simply drives everyone else up the wall. Here
is the answer to common problems in conflict management.
Dealing with negative behavior, whether at work or at home,
can be solved with three steps:
Get to the heart of the matter.
Determine what problem-solving methods to avoid so you don't
perpetuate the conflict.
Choose a different, surprising approach to solve the problem
and keep it solved.
Finally, here is your key to some peace and sanity in the
workplace, drawn from forty years of research and professional
experience in consulting on the prevention and management of
How difficult behavior is reinforced:
People use the same solution that never brings new results.
The answer is to try something radically different. Employ a
totally new approach and choose your response carefully.
Why we fail to change negative behavior:
1. We are caught in the web of our own logic.
2. We don't realize we are doing the same things over and over.
3. We can't think of anything better to try.
This three-question formula can lead you to a new strategy:
1. What is the primary problem? Be specific. How exactly does it affect productivity?
2. What have you been doing about your problem so far? Identify the logic of your favorite solution.
3. What do you need to do instead? You need to undo what your ineffective solution did. Attack with a brand new set of weapons.
Focus on the facts. Figure out what the heart of the matter is:
1. List all the issues affecting you.
2. Decide which issue or who in particular is bothering you the most.
3. Encircle the issue or person's name on your list.
4. Focus on what you circled. List all the things that bother you about this person.
5. Now pick the problem to work on. If you could only fix one item on the list, and had to live with all the others, what would you choose?
6. Then with the particular problem chosen, spell out specifically: Who is doing what that presents a problem, to whom, and how is this behavior a problem?
The 4 ways to get bogged down in "whys" and therefore confused
by superfluous issues:
1. Focusing on possible reasons for someone's behavior
2. Speculating about what the person is up to
3. Labeling behavior instead of describing it
4. Worrying about who is right or wrong
Use reverse psychology!
1. Do something unexpected. Sometimes shock tactics or being brutally honest works.
2. Encourage the person to keep doing what it is that is irritating behavior. It is strange but encouraging people to continue their irritating behavior gets them to stop it.
3. Have fun experimenting with your new approaches!
4. Tell someone not to change what he is doing.
5. Create consequences or let the natural consequences of his negative behavior occur.
6. Urge someone to do the annoying actions even more
New Conflict Management Techniques
1. Do not offer a long list of reasons why someone should change. Simply tell them what needs to be done. The more you
rationalize or argue the more they will resist. You will be
wasting time and energy.
2. In the face of constant criticism, silently take note of what is being said, then read the notes back - instead of actively defending each point.
3. Make statements ("Unless it creates a problem for you, I'm
going to do X")
4. Give a specific compliment to the other party in a conflict.
("I like the way you presented your report - your lineup of
facts made it easy to follow") It catches them off-guard and
makes him/her less defensive.
5. Excuse yourself for a minute in the midst of a heated discussion to go to the toilet instead of escalating the argument.
6. Hold back for thirty minutes instead of rushing to fix a problem for someone else.
Other "happy workplace" tips:
1. Keep an open mind about why the person behaves in such a manner.
2. See both sides of the situation, not just yours.
3. Be very specific when analyzing the problem. Make a mental
videotape of the behavior.
4. Notice when it isn't happening. Understand why. You may have
overlooked something you did that didn't result in the other
person's annoying behavior.
5. Find someone with immunity and see how he or she successfully handles the troublesome behavior that you're struggling with.
By: Regine P. Azurin and Yvette Pantilla
"A Lot Of Great Books....Too Little Time To Read"
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The Hogwarts universe is set to expand by an additional two new Harry Potter books, published by Bloomsbury in the UK (and presumably Scholastic in the USA) in conjunction with a British Library event, in celebration of the 20th anniversary of the series.
The library exhibition titled, "A History of Magic," featuring the two books will be open from October 2017 to February 2018.
The books, both by the British Library, include unseen sketches and manuscript pages from author J.K. Rowling, magical illustrations from Jim Kay and artifacts from the archives at the library.
J.K. Rowling, in a statement on the Pottermore website, called A History of Magic an "adult edition" and Harry Potter A Journey Through A History of Magic "a family edition for younger readers."
As a part of the celebration of its centennial this year, the Women's National Book Association has awarded the WNBA Second Century Prize to the Little Free Library. The award, which carries a $5,000 grant, honors "an organization that supports the power of reading, past, present, and into the future,"
The Little Free Library, a nonprofit organization that promotes reading for all ages, but especially children, by building free book exchanges.
Founded in 2009 in Hudson, Wis., by Todd Bol to honor his mother, a schoolteacher, the Little Free Library promotes the building of free book exchanges. There are now more than 50,000 registered Little Free Libraries worldwide, in all 50 states and 70 countries.
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The vote comes after President Trump in May doubled down on his call to eliminate IMLS and virtually all federal funding for libraries, as well as a host of other vital agencies.
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But even by Mr. Díaz's glacial standards, his latest book, Islandborn (March 2018, Dial Books), will be long overdue about 20 years past deadline. And it's a mere 48 pages long.
According to the New York Times, Islandborn "engages with many of the same themes that Mr. Díaz has wrestled with in his fiction: immigration and identity, the weight of collective memory, and feelings of displacement and belonging." ...
This year's International Thriller Writers' annual awards have been presented to:
Hardcover: Before the Fall
, Noah Hawley
First Novel: The Drifter
, Nicholas Petrie
Paperback Original: The Body Reader
, Anne Frasier
eBook Original: Romeo's Way
, James Scott Bell
Liu Xiaobo, the renegade Chinese intellectual who kept vigil at Tiananmen Square in 1989 to protect protesters from encroaching soldiers, promoted a pro-democracy charter that brought him a lengthy prison sentence and was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize while locked away, died under guard in a hospital on Thursday. He was 61.
(Liu Xiaobo is pronounced approximately Lee-O shau-BO. Liu is his family name, Xiaobo his given name. The first syllable of Xiaobo rhymes with now.)
For the 50th anniversary of the Beatles' Yellow Submarine, the Apple Corporation is authorizing a comic book adaptation of the classic film with Titan Comics. The book is slated for release in 2018.
In a move that had been expected, Bertelsmann has increased its stake in Penguin Random House. After the deal is completed in September, Bertelsmann will have a 75% share of PRH with Pearson controlling the remaining 25%.
Spencer Johnson, a onetime physician and children's book author, whose best-selling books on business management, including "The One-Minute Manager" and "Who Moved My Cheese?," sold millions of copies and inspired a cult-like following, died July 3 at a hospital in Encinitas, Calif. He was 78.